Hair Schmair

 

It’s hard to start a new life. 

 

Being bald is weird. There I said it. And you what? Going bald very rapidly is even weirder. 

 

I got out of the bathtub last night and saw a mirage of small hairs lining the porcelain rectangle tub mocking me from below. I stared at the collage of mixed up angled mini knives for a solid 30 seconds.

 

Did those come off of me? I’m used to cleaning dog hairs. In fact I like it. When a doggy guest leaves after a vacation I’ll often find their hair and be like, “Aww Maxyyyyy. Hi.” But when It’s MY hair staring back at me it feels foreign, wrong, scary. I want to shake my hands hard when I see the little pokes clinging to my palms after running my hand through my scalp. And then in the same gasp I apologize and give them a proper rinse down the sink with a wink, a farewell, a tip o my hat, see ya my friend sorta send off. 

 

I know it’s happening, has happened to people before but fuck me this is hard. BALD? Like no hair at all? Like zero hairs on my head? Now that, is a horse of a different color.

 

Buttttt I have learned a secret that I have not been privy to before now. WIGS MAN. FUCKING WIGS. I might never go back to real hair. Humidity? No prob. Shine? We gatchu. Perfectly waved waves all day? Yep. You wanna be Jessica Rabbit by day and Diana Ross by night let’s fucking go!

 

As a woman I’ve always wondered what THAT exactly means. Did I become a “woman” when I got my first period in the 5^th grade and had no idea what was happening? Did I become a woman when I was too nervous to look at a group of men standing on the corner as I passed by because I didn’t want to cause “unnecessary attention?” Did it happen at my wedding or when I grew my children inside of my body?  Is it my hair? My breasts? My bum? How others perceive me? 

 

There isn’t a “correct” answer. The answer is being. In the moment. Now. Do you feel sexy? Well you should. So get on that.

 

I like looking at loosing my hair as a symbol of my strip down. A chance to start fresh. To learn what being a woman means to ME. It’s actually the chance of a lifetime. I’m shedding. Feeling the gratitude of being given the gift of a new start. 

 

Gimme a whole new set of cells to work with and we’ll go from there. Stripped to the core and ready to rebuild. Let’s find out who this bitch really is.